SECRET AGENT COW

EXT. BEAR AT NIGHT

               BEAR
            (beat)
        Mwa-ha-ha.
        I can extort millions from 
        governments with my secret weapon!
            (beat)

EXT. BEAR WITH MOON

Beat. Arrow pointing to moon, labelled "secret weapon".

               BEAR
            (beat)
        Now to demonstrate it, all I
        need is a car.
            (beat)
        Hey! What luck.

EXT. JEEP NEAR BOULDERS

EXT. TENT AT DUSK

               COW
            (beat)
        moo

EXT. CLOSE ON TENT

               MAX
        Roughing it! That's the life!
        No radio! No TV! No spam email!
            (beat)
        Plus I can recharge my laptop
        in the cigarette lighter!

               COW
            (thinking)
        I want my MTV.

               MAX
            (beat)
        Hey! That sounds like our car.
        
EXT. JEEP ON ROAD AT NIGHT

               BEAR (O.S.)
        Mock me, will they?
        We'll see who's bluffing!
        Next stop, Egypt!

EXT. GREAT PYRAMIDS AT DAY

A jeep pulls up.

               BEAR (O.S.)
        I better wait for night.
            (thinking)
        The moon looks bad on a
        white background.

EXT. GREAT PYRAMID AT NIGHT

The jeep is still there.

               BEAR (O.S.)
            (beat)
        Now, behold!
            (beat)

The moon appears.

               BEAR (O.S.)
            (beat)
        OK! Time's up!
            (beat)

EXT. EXPLOSION

The jeep is visible in front.

               BEAR (O.S.)
            (beat)
        Yeah! Who's your daddy?

EXT. JEEP AT NIGHT WITH MOON

               BEAR (O.S.)
        So who's bluffing now, baby?
        Next stop, India!

EXT. TENT AT NITE

Beat. Cow appears. Cow disappears.

Moon appears. Cow appears.

               COW
            (thinking)
        Great Ursa Major!
            (aloud)
        moo

               MAX (O.S.)
        What?
        Uh oh.

EXT. CLOSE ON TENT AT NIGHT.

               MAX
        We'll never catch him.
        Where do you think he'll
        go next?

               COW
        moo

               MAX
        Yes, I agree. Paris.

EXT. TAJ MAHAL AT DAY

               BEAR (O.S.)
        Hello, First National Bank
        of Switzerland?  I want to
        check my balance.
        Yes. Uh huh. Password #########.
        Ok.
        At least some people know
        what's good for them! Now who?
        Ah yes.
        Next stop, France!

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER AT DAY

Jeep arrives.

               BEAR
        I think I'll see the view while
        I wait for my secret weapon to
        arrive.

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER AT NIGHT

Jeep at base.

Max and Cow arrive.

               MAX
        Our car!
        I hope we're not too late!

Moon appears.

               MAX
        He must be on top.

INT. MAX AND COW

               MAX
            (beat)
        Darn this elevator is slow.

EXT. BEAR AT NIGHT

               BEAR
        I've waited long enough. Time
        to check my bank.

EXT. MAX AND COW AT NIGHT
               
               MAX
        Not so fast, bear! The only
        bank you'll be making withdrawals
        from is a blood bank!

EXT. CLOSE ON COW

EXT. BEAR WITH MOON

               BEAR
        Stop right there, Cow!

EXT. BEAR WITH MOON

               BEAR
        I've activated this nearly-indestructible
        homing device! The moon will crash here
        unless I escape and disable it, or you
        find some way to smash it.

EXT. MAX AND COW AND BEAR

               MAX
        Just how indestructible is it?

               BEAR
        Very! It would take an extremely
        violent impact to destroy it!

EXT. CLOSE ON COW

EXT. COW ON PLATFORM

               BEAR (O.S.)
        Hey!

EXT. MAX AND COW LOOKING DOWN

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER AT NIGHT

Arrow labelled "bear" pointing at pixel in mid air
under the platform.

EXT. MAX AND COW LOOKING DOWN

               MAX
        You should be more careful, bear!
        Otherwise you'll find yourself
        thinking "Eiffel".

Cow closeup.
         
               MAX
            (beat)
            (beat)
        Ow.
        I guess that fall was enough to
        smash the homing beacon.

INT. MAX AND COW

               MAX
            (beat)
        Shotgun!

EXT. CAR ON ROAD

EXT. MAX AND COW IN CAR

               MAX
            (beat)
        Maybe next time we'll just make it a
        pique-nique.

               COW
            (beat)
        moo

EXT. CAR ON ROAD