Article: 178538 of talk.bizarre From: firstname.lastname@example.org (a hurricane triggered by butterfly's wings) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre Subject: Pre-emtive duck mode Date: 1 Dec 1994 10:53:49 -0500 Organization: the breaking of small, important bones Lines: 30 Message-ID: <email@example.com> Summary: don't kill me yet, this is the only one of these I have planned Status: O Ok, bear with me on this one. Suppose in the future that the Political Correctness thing gets so out of hand that all reference to gender, including pronouns, are removed from the titles of children's books, so that each and every book will be accessibly to each and every child. For example, a ten pager from Gold Seal that used to be called _Johnny Wants to be a Fireman!_ would have to be retitled to something like _You Could Fight Fires_. >From there the syndrome infects all other gendered speech. As an almost unnoticed by-product of this effect, job descriptions will only be expressed in gerunds, i.e., "Fights Fires" or "Sweeps Floors" or what have you. Unnoticed, that is, until these same job description gerunds work back down the chain and become the titles of those same children's books. Right. Now imagine that miraculous advances occur in the fields of microtechnology and robotics, once again making science fiction into science fact. You can see it coming, can't you? The job description gerund, and likewise the title of the children's book, will be: "Wears Waldoes" paul -- "I'm really so very, very sorry for making you hike all the way up this mountain, really, but you just HAD to see this pebble, it's so NEAT."